The 3 Weeks - Sin'at Chinam

This time of year, the issue of "sin'at chinam" - baseless disrespect and even hatred for others - receives much attention. Many of us are aware that Chazal teach us that it was none other than sin'at chinam that caused the ultimate destruction of the second Beit Hamikdash.

I just wanted to offer the following observation on the actual source of this Chazal. The Gemara in Yoma (9b) says:

מקדש ראשון מפני מה חרב? מפני שלשה דברים שהיו בו: עבודה זרה, וגלוי עריות, ושפיכות דמים…אבל מקדש שני, שהיו עוסקין בתורה ובמצות וגמילות חסדים מפני מה חרב? מפני שהיתה בו שנאת חנם.

The Gemara clearly says that the first Beit Hamikdash was destroyed because the Jewish people were violating the prohibitions of idol worship, illicit relations, and murder. And then the Gemara asks: But what about the second Beit Hamikdash in which the Jews were constantly involved in Torah, Mitzvot and Gemilut Chasadim (acts of kindness to one another)?? There, the reason for destruction was sin'at chinam.

What is fascinating about this Gemara is that it says explicitly that the generation that lived during Bayit Sheini was constantly involved in gemilut chasadim, and yet the reason that was singled out as the cause for the ultimate destruction was senseless hatred. How can both be true??

I'll admit that I have not had a chance to look at the mefarshim, but off the cuff I would say the following: 

You could answer that these opposite behaviors were directed at different people - they were nice to their family and friends and showed hatred to others. This might be the p'shat here.

However, it is also possible that the Jews of that time really were consistently involved in gemilut chasadim towards everyone in the community and they did not discriminate.

The issue then was that they outwardly performed acts of kindness to one another, but this kindness was superficial at best. It was not done with the intention of sincerely making another person feel good or really trying to feel the pain of a neighbor. Beneath the surface, there was still cynicism, criticism and even hatred.

Perhaps the avoda of the 3 weeks is to try and make our gemilut chassadim a little more sincere and make sure it is not just superficial acts that make us look good to others.

The Rambam writes in (Hilchot De'ot 6:3) that one of the ways to fulfill the mitzva of "v'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha", is to speak nicely about someone else (see the Pri Megadim in Eshel Avraham O.C. 156. Also see Sefer Hachinuch #343 for a possibly different approach). 

According to the Rambam, it isn't enough for one to just perform the act of kindness itself, but rather one is obligated to also try to sincerely develop kind feelings towards his friend and express these feelings to others. The mere expression of these feelings indicates a level of sincerity and also helps to etch these positive feelings into the psyche of the one expressing them.

In terms of practical application, I was thinking that it might be a bit awkward to suddenly start going around complimenting everyone, so I thought it might be better to start small. The Gemara (Kiddushin 40a) clearly says that the mitzva of  v'ahavta l'reiacha kamocha applies to one's spouse, so maybe that is a good place to begin... 

Talk about a good deal - sincerely compliment your wife (or husband) and you gain not only brownie points, but a mitzvah d'orayta as well, and you bring us that much closer to the next Beit Hamikdash.

Not too bad.